MERRY CHRISTMAS!

It's Christmas Eve, and this little Heathen family would like to wish you a very Merry Chrismahannakwanzika. Feel free to throw any other religions in there. We're going to eat, drink, open presents, and generally be merry - and we hope you do the same. :)

The Crazy Cat Lady

Yesterday, I made some mango curd (just call me Martha Stewart).

To make mango curd, you have to puree mango (I would say 'duh' but that might make me seem a little obnoxious, since I don't think mango curd is on everyone's list of things-to-do....wait, did saying that just make me sound obnoxious?).

Anyway, I used frozen mango chunks to make the puree, so I basically ended up with mango sorbet. I only needed half of what I made, so I sat on the couch, half-watching Josh play COD (just shoot me), and eating mango sorbet straight out of the food processor, with a big wooden spoon.

Attractive, eh?

Well, at this point I should tell you that Rufus (the cat) loves loves LOVES anything fruity and cold. Fruit cups, pineapple, popsicles, yogurt - anything fruity and tart is a win with him. So, he comes running over to me when he senses what I'm eating.

So I do what any normal cat lady would do...

...I shared my sorbet with him. One spoonful for me, one spoonful for him, and on and on til it was gone.

If it makes it any better, I didn't lick the spoon in the same spot where he licked...

(yes, I know it's not really better, but please humor me so I don't feel completely loser-ish)

Conundrum

I have a slight problem, and I would like your opinion.

Do you know who Gabriel Iglesias is?



I think he's super funny. I would love to see his standup. Guess what? He'll be at Ramstein AFB this Saturday night, giving a free show.

Wonderful, right? And, it's the day after my birthday, so it's like a present. I assume the Air Force knew it was my birthday weekend when they were planning this show.

Here's the problem....Gabriel Iglesias is the opening act. For Daughtry.

If you don't know who Daughtry is, then you're awesome. I'm not going to post a video, because it's my blog, and I don't want to put that crap on here. Let's just say that I'd rather sit on a chainsaw than see Daughtry.

So, the logical thing to do would be to go see Gabriel Iglesias, and then leave before Daughtry starts.

But....that just seems in bad taste. I can't stand Daughtry, but I don't want to be RUDE. I know it's not like he's going to be searching the audience from backstage, shedding a tear for every person that leaves before he gets on stage. But, I can't shake the feeling that leaving early would be a giant faux pas.

Also, do I really want to be surrounded by tons of Daughtry fans? They seem like people I don't want to be surrounded by...

What to do, what to do...

Books Books Books

I consider myself well read, and a lover of books. There are many books I haven't read that I really should. There are no books that I've read that I regret reading. Not because I love every single book I've ever read, (I'm lookin' at you, Lord of the Flies) but because reading is reading is reading. The more knowledge you have in your little pea brain, the better. Plus, I think reading goes hand in hand with imagination and creativity. The more you read, the better adventurer you are. I've never met a person that loves to read that doesn't also love to explore new things in a non-reading capacity.

But, even I have a long way to go to be a true bookworm. Now, my brother's girlfriend - SHE'S a true bookworm. I aspire to be like her one day. She's aaaaalways reading. I get into moods where I read and read and read and read, but then I'll take a several week hiatus from reading. I'm ADD like that. But not Beth - she's a super bookworm (and super cool, too).

But I found myself being one of those people this weekend. You know, those people that are talking to friends about a book/movie/show, and the friends say something like, "Oh, I've never read/seen that," and then those people say, "What do you MEAN you've never read/seen that?!?!? What kind of person ARE you!??!!!!"

Yeah, well, I was out to dinner with friends - 4 of 'em (plus Josh). We were talking about Twilight (::shudder::) when Harry Potter came up. And no one at the table had read them, except for me and Josh.

:|

THE HORROR!!!! I think I may have slightly shouted, "WHAT?!". I couldn't help it. Then I realized I was being one of those people. So, I stifled myself as best I could, and just said, "Please, just read them." It was like my soul was on its knees and begging.

And, to be quite honest, I'm not even a Harry Potter-phile. The books aren't even good adult books - they are written for children. I love Harry Potter, but I'm certainly not obsessed.

I thought I had my those people vibes in check after that night. But then, I did it AGAIN last night.

Josh and I have a trip planned to Amsterdam in February. Last night, we were talking about how our hotel is within walking distance of the Anne Frank house.

And then, Josh hits me in the face.

Ok, no, he didn't physically hit me. But, his next words were like somebody knocked my teeth out.

"You know, I should probably read The Diary of Anne Frank before we go to Amsterdam."

WHAAAAAAATTT!????!?!?

And that's when I realized....I am one of those people. So I'm just going to embrace it. If you haven't read a book or seen a movie/show that I think is important, I'm going to make a big deal out of it.

Now, if you have a completely opposite opinion than me, that's ok. Kind of. If somebody said to me, "OMG, Nicolas Sparks is an amazing author," I would AT LEAST be happy that they are a reader. But I will totally judge you for loving Nicolas Sparks. Same goes for Twilight - it's a book for preteens and teens, and at least the series got them reading. But, it is ridiculous drivel that pooped out of the mouth of a woman who's mentality is straight from the '40s.

And - just so you know - I totally understand that sometimes I will be on the other side of this equation. Like, the other day at the same dinner with the Harry Potter hoopla. We were at a restaurant that had music going on in the background. All of a sudden, an Adele song comes on.

:|

Courtney: Oh my God, I HATE Adele. I cannot stand her.
Other 4: WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?

If there had been rocks around, I think they would have stoned me to death.

Like, I get it. I get that Adele has a beautiful voice. But every time she opens her mouth to whine about another failed relationship, I want to throw her off a bridge.

If only I could put Adele & Stephanie Meyer on a dinghy, and push them out to sea. Let them go be weak women elsewhere.

The Loooong Weekend

Last weekend was Thanksgiving weekend. The loooong weekend. The holidays are important to my family because they're filled with food. The meaning behind certain holidays is certainly lost on us. Well, maybe not lost on us, we just don't care. We're not the most religious bunch, and half my family is Canadian, so they have their own Thanksgiving (in October). Also, ever since I moved away from Texas, Thanksgiving has really just filled me with dread and anxiety. Josh has to have a turkey. I hate cooking turkey. I am either filled with dread at the thought of having to cook a turkey, or anxiety at trying to find a place we can go that will already have the turkey taken care of, so I don't have to be near it.

This year, I am thankful that I didn't have to cook a turkey. Although Josh did make me buy a turkey breast that I was supposed to make him over the weekend so he could have 'leftovers'. (How the hell are they leftovers if I have to cook a damn breast just to GET the leftovers?!)

Since we're in Germany, the sense of community surrounding the holidays is much stronger than it is in the States, I think. Since all of us are away from our extended families, we all have to band together in order to have a traditional Thanksgiving. Josh and I went over to our friends' house for turkey genocide day, and all I had to bring was a pie, mashed potatoes, rolls, and tea bags. This was literally the easiest Thanksgiving I've ever been through, since being an 'adult'. (Yes, I put that word in quotation marks. I still don't feel like a grown-up)

This is why I hate having to deal with turkey:

This is why I love the non-turkey part of Thanksgiving:

FYI - vegetarians love Thanksgiving/Christmas. It laugh when people ask, "So, what can you eat? Do you have a hard time finding things?" You know what I ate on Thanksgiving?? Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, green bean casserole, corn, mac & cheese, and while it wasn't on this table, most of the time I get stuffing, too (as long as it's made with vegetable broth). And once I was done with that, it was dessert time. And unless you're a hipster-baker that puts bacon in all of your food (really? do those brownies REALLY need bacon in them?? go be a hipster somewhere else) all of the dessert is vegetarian.

One year, I was a vegan over thanksgiving. That was not as fun....remind me to tell the tofurkey story at some point.

So back to this weekend...Everybody gorged themselves, then played the dancing game on the Kinect. Well, not this girl. I didn't even play that game at my cousin's house, and I'm sure as hell not going to play it in front of non-relatives. Call me a party-pooper - I care not.

At least Josh was a good sport:

So Thanksgiving was good. We were fat and happy. Friday was spent recuperating from eating 20 pounds of carbs & butter, just in time to go out to eat with one of Josh's coworkers that night. Kaiserslautern is the big town near the base, and they have a reallllly good brewery/restaurant. Plus, right outside was the K-town Christmas market. And, I'll have you know, I just got a salad. That was my detox from the day before....although the salad had about a pound of feta and olives....but that's healthy fat, right?

Saturday, it was time for the Rothenburg ob der Tauber Christmas market. Quick note - Christmas markets are HUUUUUGE in Europe, especially Germany. Those crazy Christians know how to live it up during this time of year. Tons of craft, food, and alcohol stands. That's a good combo for me.

At this point, I should mention that this weekend was Josh's bff Chris' last weekend in Germany. That's right, Little Foot was being shipped back to the states on Monday. (as for the nickname, let's just say that Chris should be wearing toddler socks).

So, the trip to Rothenburg was kind of a last hurrah for us all - we were in a 3 car caravan to Rothenburg - about 2 hours from Ramstein. Rothenburg is the oldest medieval city in Germany - it was really neat, because the old section was still surrounded by the original medieval walls. We definitely want to go back, maybe during non-Christmas time.

See? Lovely.

One thing that's the same at all Christmas markets - glühwein. It's a hot, spiced wine drink.

Yum.

One fun fact about all of the fairs and festivals around here - whenever you get a drink, they give you a real glass or mug to go with it. Let's say the glühwein is €3. Well, the first time you buy it, it will be €4.50. If you have more, then they go back to €3. If you want to keep your glass (most of the festivals have their own glasses with their own logos etched on them) then not a problem. But, if you don't want the glass, you just turn it in and get your €1.50 deposit back. Genius, eh??

We walked around alllll day. It was pretty crowded, but wasn't horrible. However, it was soooo cold. I actually had to buy gloves while I was there. But, if it gets too cold, you just pop into one of the stores and warm up for a bit.

I loved seeing all the Christmasey sites. Even though I'm a heathen, I really do love Christmas - who doesn't love decorations and presents?!

It was a really good time, but trying to wrangle a group of 9 people through the crowded and tiny streets of a medieval city is almost impossible. We were constantly losing each other.

I think we ended up leaving around 5pm or so. At this point, Josh, Lacie and I hadn't had anything to eat (except a few spiced nuts). And I should mention, Lacie is 38 weeks pregnant - how she managed to go all day without eating is beyond me. We had to wait until after we got back home to be able to go out to eat - our dog, and Lacie & Yahreen dogs HAD to be let out. But luckily, we found a super fantastic, reasonably priced restaurant not but 5 minutes from our house (Lacie and Yahreen also live right down the road from us). Oh, the food was so good - especially after not eating all day. I had a pizza, and ate the whole thing. I'm not even going to apologize for that.

Then Chris came over for a little while - a last little play date for him and Josh. Josh is really gonna miss the guy (and I might miss him a little bit as well). But, such is the military lifestyle.

Sunday, I spent the day being sick. I had been sick with a cold/cough the whole week before. Thought I was better. Apparently walking around Rothenburg in freezing weather reactivated my cough.

But that's ok, because it was totally worth it. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving from the Aycock household!

Now, let's all go out and celebrate the beginning of the destruction of Native Americans by stuffing ourselves with the carcasses of millions of murdered birds.

But before I get too preachy, rest assured that I am a total hypocrite, as I am about to start peeling 10 pounds of potatoes for this hate-mongering murder-fest.

Quick joke before I totally ruin your holiday:

What did the Indians call the Pilgrims?

Undocumented aliens

Travel Tips

I'm a pretty worldly girl. I've traveled every kinda way a person can travel. Road trips in cars & motorcycles. Camping, camper-ing. Backpacking & hostel-ing. Ocean cruises, and river cruises. Fancy-pants tour groups, and not so fancy-pants tour groups. If there's a style of traveling I haven't done, I can't think of what it is.

Please don't think I'm bragging - I am REALLY not. Yes, I have been lucky - my grandma used to take me on trips with her All. The. Time. Hell, if she was still physically able to, she'd take me on trips now - in fact, the last trip we did together was a cruise in 2009. BUT - you so totally do not need a benefactor to take trips. Yes, it's nice to stay in 4 star hotels, and eat at nice restaurants 3 times a day. But, that's not what I think traveling is all about. The whole point to travel is to learn & experience new things.

And let me tell ya - it ain't always a 4 star experience. Travel life isn't 100% carefree and fun. But, it's worth it. If you're not a traveler by nature - please please please try it at least once. You may hate it (although, if you do, I don't think you and I have much in common), but it'll make you a better person.

You don't even have to go very far. Chances are, you are living in a place somewhere, and not on the moon. (but, if you're living on the moon - can i please come visit you?) So - I guarantee there are things to do and see within a short drive from you. A trip doesn't have to be a plane ride, or 10 hour car ride away.

But, there are some things that can make your travel experiences easier. Especially if you're on the more frugal side of things.

These are in no particular order.

Tip 1: Plan the trip yourself. Yes, it takes a lot more work, but it will be worth it. While I think you should plan the trip yourself - take advantage of city bus tours!!!! Most touristy cities have those open topped bus tours. For 20 or 30 bucks a day, you can ride this kind of bus, and hop on/off at all the city highlights. This is WELL worth the money.

Tip 2: Bring stuff for lunch. Or breakfast, or even dinner. The point is - make your own meal once a day. Pick hotels that have free breakfasts, and then treat yourself to dinner. Bring a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, a bag of chips/crackers, some fruit packs, nuts, beef jerky (although since I'm a vegetarian, I have to ask you not to bring beef jerky) etc. etc. etc. That way, you have breakfast paid for, you don't have to worry about lunch, and you really only have to pay for dinner.

Tip 3: Bring a pain reliever, and a tummy trouble reliever. You will go far with a bottle of advil & a bottle of pepto. Even if not for you - it's always a nice thing to be able to give a fellow traveler-in-need some relief. Trust me - even if you have a cast-iron stomach, that weird plate of tapas you ordered will rust a hole thru the cast-iron.

Tip 4: PURELL!!!! Yes, I am a germaphobe. But, even my anti-germaphobe husband always purells his hands when we are traveling. 10 million people visit Paris a year, and every single one of 'em have used that hand rail you're using at the Eiffel tower. Do you really want to lick the hands of 10 million people?? If that thought doesn't bother you, then I suggest you high-tail it to the nearest mental health professional. Or, at the very least, high-tail it to the nearest shower...and away from me.

Tip 5: Do NOT wear clothing with "USA" emblazoned on it. In fact, don't wear clothing with any state name plastered all over it. Or anything with the US flag. I hate to say it, but it's not the safest thing in the world to do that. Some people don't like us. Some people wish us harm. You don't want to be having a cocktail in a foreign bar, and have some drunk local want to pick a fight with you, all because you're wearing a "I'm a proud American" t-shirt.

Tip 6: Try at least one local dish. Something that the area you are traveling in is famous for. I'm not saying you have to be all Andrew Zimmern about it, but take a risk. You travel to experience other cultures, and there is no easier way to experience another culture than to try their food. I admit, there is a certain mental block associated with, say, escargot. But, if you can get over that mental block, your world will open up that much more. Also, if you have children, start them off early. I was eating fish eyes and frog legs when I was 3 years old. Even though I'm a vegetarian now, I'm so thankful that my parents' rule was, "You have to at least try a bite." It's ok if you don't like it, but at least you tried it.

Tip 7: This tip is in response to the most egregious traveling error. For the love of all things that are holy - bring extra batteries for your camera!!!!!! Or, a backup of some sort. Any sort. Josh has his nice, fancy camera that he always brings. He brings two rechargeable batteries, ALONG WITH the battery charger!!!! Also, if you're traveling in another country - BRING THE ADAPTER for the charger!! And, not only do we always bring two battery packs, the charger, and the adapter, but I always keep a small point & shoot in my purse. During our trip to Paris last weekend, at least 3 different families on that trip used up their camera battery 2/3 of the way in on the first day. That meant that any time we went to the next photo op, they either did without, or they had to run to the nearest gift shop and buy a disposable. Imagine going to the Louvre with a disposable camera. Yeah, not pretty.

Tip 8: Speaking of cameras - take the time to step out from behind the camera. Enjoy where you are. You may be on the most jam-packed, busiest trips of all time. But take a few seconds and recognize how awesome it is that you are where you are. You can have 50 pictures of the pyramids, or Christ the Redeemer, or hell, Mount Rushmore. But no picture is as important as the memories associated with your trip. So take the time to make some.

Tip 9: If you come across something you like, buy it. Do NOT "wait & see" if there is something else better down the line. Chances are, you'll wait too long, and regret not buying the thing you originally wanted to buy.

Tip 10: Have fun. That's the whole point of traveling anyway, right? Get out of your comfort zone. Get dirty. Get lost. Even if you come out of the trip saying, "never again", at least you have a story, right? At least you tried.

Music!

Josh and I discovered an awesome singer while in Paris. Well, we didn't discover her...but we listened to her CD, and it's awesome.

Meet Zaz:

Weekend in Paris - Part Two

And onward to day 2!

At least I got a much more restful sleep Saturday night, because we still had to wake up at 6am on Sunday. No such thing as relaxation when you're trying to fit a city like Paris into 2 days worth of sightseeing. After another super-awesome-delicious breakfast, it was on to the Palace of Versailles.

It was about a 40 minute drive to get to the palace. A 40 minute drive full of our fellow group members talking non-stop about the traffic situations of Paris. Yes, I got it the first time you said, "Oh my god, how can anybody drive like that!?", "Look at that person cutting that other person off!", "You bicyclists/motorcyclists are all crazy!!". I'm very thankful that no one could see the facial expressions I was making. At one point, I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck.

So, we got to Versailles a few minutes before it opened, which was reallllly nice - less crowds!! Now, I never really realized before this trip exactly how much I LOVE learning about French history. I have always loved reading/watching movies about Louis XIV, Louis XVI, Marie Antoinette, etc. It was awesome being able to have an understanding of the stuff that actually happened inside the Palace, and not just learning about it for the first time while there. So you all know how much of a hippy, past-life, tarot card nutcase I am. So this shouldn't come as a surprise to most of you. But, I am 100%, without a doubt, convinced that I was a courtier at Versaille in a past life. (of which, there were 7000 couriers living in the palace at the time of Louis XIV)

Are you still reading? I didn't lose any readers with that statement, did I?

I'll just make that my last statement on the subject. Suffice it to say, I felt very at home at Versailles.

You know what really really irritated me, though? The number of people on our group who had no clue whether or not they were at Versailles or the Louvre. They seriously did not know the difference. Also - at least 3 people asked, "What church is THAT?!" as we passed by the Notre Dame on our way to Versailles. Yes, the same Notre Dame that we spent 1.5 hours at the day before, and passed 16 times in the bus since.

And now - BACK TO VERSAILLES:

I. Freaking. LOVE. this place.

The grounds were just as amazing as the palace.

One thing I thought was really cool is they have golf carts you can rent to drive all over the grounds, and drive down to see Marie Antoinette's private chateau. But, of course, we didn't have time to do that....stupid group tour.

We also learned a valuable lesson while at Versailles. Josh and I found some really neat things at the gift shop that we wanted - a clock, and a shoe figurine. But, since our next stop was at the Louvre - we figured that it would be better to wait to buy our souvenirs until then. We had seen the clock and shoe at another gift shop earlier, so we assumed that the Louvre (being the size that it is) would SURELY have those items at its many shops. Plus, what if we found something that we wanted better, and we had spent a ton of money on a shoe & a clock...

Of course, as it turned out, the Louvre didn't have either, and didn't have anything else that we wanted as much. Crap.

So, yes, after Versailles, it was on to the Louvre. We had 3 hours to spend there, which SEEMS like a long time, until you realize the size of the Louvre. If you spent 5 seconds looking at each work of art, it would take you 2 full days, and you would have walked something like 35km. True story.

And, at this point, my ankle was close to being toast. I can't complain about that (shock!!) since it did so well up to this point. But the Louvre is easily the most confusing building to navigate through. We got lost in the African/Native American/Central American section for a half an hour - and we didn't even WANT to be in that section in the first place! There are 4 levels to the Louvre, but all these levels inside the levels, with twisty-windy, uneven staircases everywhere. We were rushing around trying to see the "main" pieces, that we barely got to enjoy being in the museum at all. Plus, we were starving, and sweaty, and cranky.

But we still got to see a bunch of cool stuff. ;) The big 3 to see are the Winged Victory, Mona Lisa, and Venus de Milo.

Then, of course, you gotta go outside to see the glass pyramid.

There was so much stuff we missed out on. We got to see the big 3, run up and down the Italian Renaissance section (Josh's favorite), see some Egyptian and Greek artifacts (my favorite) and then run outside to take a photo of the pyramids. By this point, we had 45 minutes left to find the perfect souvenir (which we never did) and eat. I'm only slightly embarrassed that we ate at the McDonald's in the Louvre. At least I got some French monopoly pieces from the food. :)

Then, we make it back to the bus, and of course the bus ends up leaving 15 minutes late because of some of the people on our group not being able to tell time.

I hate to say it, but I was actually kind of glad to be on our way back home. Not because I didn't love being in Paris with Josh, but because the whole thing was just so draining. I wish it had just be us exploring the city. But, you live, you learn.

On the way home, we watched the Kirsten Dunst Marie Antoinette. We own it, and I actually watched it before we came on the trip. But, there was just something about watching it right after our visit to Paris & Versailles that made it that much cooler.

We stopped at the same gas station restaurant on the way home. Not only did we buy some Emmentaler cheetos (they don't have regular cheetos in France, apparently), but I bought a box of the best gas station lemon tarts EVER. I'm sure it's the equivalent of a French Chips Ahoy brand, but whatevs, they were amazing.

And we FINALLY got back to the base at 9pm. And damn was it cold. Paris was at LEAST 10 degrees warmer at night, and 20 degrees warmer during the day.

So, here's a rundown of our trip:
Josh's favorite:
Notre Dame (with Versailles a close second)
Courtney's favorite:
Versailles, hands down
Josh & Courtney's least favorite:
the mall district of Paris. I couldn't possibly care less about window shopping at Dior or Chanel.

What do we definitely want to do next time?
Walk the Seine river. There are so many peddlers along the Seine that we wanted to visit - tons of antique books, and art work.
Go back to Versailles. We will definitely be renting one of the carts next time in order to go visit Marie Antoinette's chateau. Also, we still need to buy our clock & shoe.
Revisit the Louvre. Actually, this isn't necessarily a MUST do for us. We love museums, but the frustration level at this one was off the charts. I want to visit when we have time to be leisurely about it.
Visit Montmartre & see a show at the Moulin Rouge.
Visit Claude Monet's gardens outside of the city. I did that when I was 12, and I remember it being awesome.

Also...if you couldn't tell...we will never ever ever ever do one of these weekend group tours again. Especially not to Paris.

Weekend in Paris - Part One

Soooooooo, Josh and I went to Paris this past weekend. And I gotta tell ya - one weekend in Paris is just not enough time. I had been to Paris once before, but that was 16 years ago when I was 12. It was a completely different experience this time. For one thing, it's different when you travel with your husband as opposed to your grandma. ;) I remembered a lot of stuff from my first trip, but I still got to see and do new things this time.

Now, I did something that I really really really shouldn't have. I signed us up for a group tour of Paris. I thought it would be a more relaxing way to do Paris. We wouldn't have to worry about transportation, and we'd have somebody to show us around. I really just wanted to splurge on a somewhat pricey tour, and relax.

I was oh, so incorrect. I will never again do an overnight tour with this company.

Don't get me wrong - Josh and I had a great time. And this company wasn't a bad tour company. Our guide was good, the itinerary was good. But this was the most whirlwind, jam-packed, least relaxing, most expensive thing we could have ever, ever, ever done. Plus, we were surrounded my ignoramuses the whole time. NEVER AGAIN. Although I am glad we got a taste of Paris - now we know what spots we want to revisit - and what spots we don't.

Seriously - we had a wonderful time together. But as is my nature, this will be a blog filled with complaints and judgments of others. Because it's just more fun to write that way. ;)

So anyway, our trip started at 5pm Friday with a 6 hour bus ride to Paris. Why, isn't Paris only 4 hours from where you live, Courtney? Yes, yes it is. But, we're riding in a bus that can't go over 90km/h. Sounds like the set-up of a bad '90s movie, eh? (and by "bad", I mean "I secretly think that movie was kick-ass"). Plus, we had to stop halfway there for a 45 minute break at a French gas station/restaurant.

FYI, gas station restaurants in France are not like gas station restaurants in America. They are much nicer, with selections such as soups, salad bars, fresh pasta, a prime rib station, etc.

Oh, and another FYI - restrooms in France are not fun. I'm actually pretty confidant that I used the public restrooms incorrectly. None of the toilets had seats on them, and at least one location had footprints on either side of the toilet that were pointing backwards. But, I ignored those facts, and just used them like a true American would....and made sure to Purell my body afterwards.
I am thankful, however, that we never came across the French toilets that are just holes in the ground that you're meant to hover over.

After a looooooong trip to Paris, we arrived to our hotel which was actually pretty nice. The only negative was that we were in the industrial section of Paris, about 20 minutes from Paris Paris.

And here is me, enjoying a glass of Australian wine, bought from the BX in Germany, while in our Parisian hotel. How worldly I am....

After a super-restless nights sleep, we got up at 6am to go have breakfast, because our group tour started at 8am. And ya know, I'm not even going to complain about the fact that we had to get up that early, because our hotel breakfast was AH-mazing.

Baguettes, croissants, brie, yogurt in little glass jars....oy, I stuffed myself silly. As did Josh.

I'm glad we ate so much, because we ended up skipping lunch. Normally, Josh and I end up skipping a meal any day we are traveling. There's just too much to do, and see. Plus, we try to save as much money as possible when traveling. Although on this trip, there wasn't enough time to eat on Saturday anyway. But I digress.

After breakfast, it was off to the Notre Dame Cathedral.

Josh and I are completely non-religious. However, we both loooove going to cathedrals and churches. The history and architecture and artistry that goes into a cathedral is just mind-boggling.

We got to walk around the cathedral and surrounding area for a little while, but then it was off to the bus again to head on to the Luxembourg gardens.

It's at this point that I start realizing that this group tour may not have been the best idea. First, I should mention that we have assigned bus seats. We're sitting in 2nd row, right behind the tour guide. That was nice, because she was a fun girl about our age, and it was nice to talk to her. She's German, but she speaks fluent English, French, and Latin, as well as some Italian. Smart, eh? However, I soon realize that most of the people on our group - ESPECIALLY the people surrounding our assigned seats - are some of the most mind-numbingly stupid people I have ever met. Yes, I know I'm judgmental, and I know that I think a lot of people are dumb.....but our group had a monopoly on stupid. So while I liked that our seats were in front of the bus, I did not like that I couldn't escape from the dummies that surrounded us. Nothing but constant comments and dumb jokes and dumb statements. I could write a book on that alone, so I'll just stop now.

Anywho, Luxembourg gardens. It was built by Marie of the Medicis (Henry IV's wife) to remind her of home.

After a walk through the grounds, we headed over to the Church of Saint-Sulpice. This was one of the churches featured in the Da Vinci Code - where the keystone was located. This church has a brass meridian line running thru the floor. I love it when science and religion are intertwined!

And after that, we went to the shopping district downtown for a little bit. Josh and I went to the Fragonard perfume museum/shop for a quick 15 minute tour. It was actually an interesting tour, but afterwards the perfume guides quickly turned into super-aggressive perfume saleswomen. So, we high-tailed it outta there to walk around downtown. This was probably our least favorite part of the weekend. It was the mall district, and there were SO MANY people. We did get to see the opera house, though.

I'm not good with crowds anyway, but this was just ridiculous. We were on a street where the "famous" Lafayette mall is located. They do elaborate holiday window decorations every year (I'm thinking like Barney's in NYC) so there were a ton of people lined up to check out the windows. Plus there were a ton of street vendors as well. It was pretty neat seeing people roasting chestnuts in garbage cans and selling them on the street to the shoppers. But there are also sooooo many beggars on the street. A lot of them were quite aggressive, too. You had to tell them "no" at least 3 times before they'd go away. Hell, even the vendors would follow you around.

But, one good thing about our stop in downtown was that we got to witness the Umbrella Incident of 2011.

Josh and I are walking down the street, when we hear a dog start barking. Loudly. I made the comment, "Man, that dog does NOT sound happy!". That's when we round the corner, and see a street vendor (the owner of the dog) chasing after a guy in a business suit, beating him with an umbrella. The dog is pissed, the street vendor is absolutely furious (I could have sworn I saw smoke coming from his ears) and the business suit guy is running around trying to keep from getting whacked again.

I don't know what the hell happened, but that was definitely the most exciting part of our hour and half in the shopping district of Paris.

After that, it was on to the Arc de Triomphe. Unfortunately, we only had 15 minutes to spend here.

This is an example of another reason why the mister and I should NOT have done a group tour. We had a group reservation for the Eiffel tower at 1:30pm. So, everything throughout the morning had to be timed out - how long we got to stay at each location. The same damn people kept showing up late to the bus all weekend, which just aggravated the piss out of me and Josh. It made the whole schedule all out of whack, and made us end up having to rush through certain things...such as the Arc.

So the Arc is out in the middle of the biggest, scariest roundabout ever. But, there is a handy dandy access tunnel underneath the road that we basically ran thru, in order to get the pictures we wanted and make it back in time. I'm so thankful I wore my ankle brace - it REALLY helped!

One thing I learned on this trip - the Arc de Triomphe has a museum on the top floor. I didn't even know you could go inside the dang thing. Of course, we couldn't, since we didn't have the time. Earmarked for the next trip!!

Please ignore the lovely layer of sweat coating my face. I hate rushing.

After the Arc, we were finally off to Eiffel. We had tickets that took us up to the 2nd floor of the tower. We really wanted to go to the top, but we only had an hour and a half to spend, and apparently the wait to go to the very top was 45min to an hour. Really, it was just as well, because the view from the 2nd floor was still spectacular. One person in our group DID actually go to the top. Buuuut, he was 15 minutes late back to the bus, so we left him, and he had to take a taxi back to the hotel. Ha!! And I found out later he said the view really wasn't that much better than on the 2nd floor anyway.

Then we had a 5 minute stop at the tombs of Les Invalides - where Napoleon (among others) is buried. Unfortunately, we didn't get to go in. You see why I was so happy we left the guy that was 15 minutes late??

Sooooo, then we head back to the hotel, where we have an hour to get ready for dinner. Our dinner was not included in our ticket price, but was an optional 60 euro per person meal (appetizer, main course, dessert, and a half bottle of wine per person). We went ahead and splurged on it, thinking it would be the most amazing French meal ever. Wrong. It was good, don't get me wrong, but so NOT worth that much money.

We left the hotel at 5:15pm, and didn't get to the restaurant until 6:15pm. The restaurant was only 15km away, at the most. The traffic was just HORRIBLE. Paris traffic is awful anyway, but Saturday evening was ten times worse. Rules and laws are just suggestions in this city, and I can't believe we never saw anybody get run over - especially the bicyclists and motorcyclists.

I had a goat cheese salad, vegetable lasagna, and tarte tatin. Josh had french onion soup, mushroom stuffed chicken, and creme brulee. I normally do not like goat cheese, but this was the best goat cheese I have ever had, and I actually ate most of it. Other than that, the meal was just meh. Good, but not great.

It was actually pretty funny at the restaurant - when we first got there, everyone was just hungry and cranky and tired. It was kinda quiet and awkward. But man, once everyone got to eat, and had half a bottle of wine each, the volume in that restaurant skyrocketed.

After dinner, it was time to go on our Seine river cruise. They let you bring drinks on board, so we took one of the unfinished bottles of wine from dinner and brought it with us (somebody gave it to us, we didn't just TAKE it).

The boat ride was fun, except for the constant fear that birds flying overhead were going to crap on us.

Once the boat ride was done, we went BACK to the Eiffel tower for a short 10 minute visit. Every night at 10pm, the Eiffel tower has a sparkly light show. The pictures don't do it justice, but it really was beautiful.


The first picture is before the light show started, the second is during. It lasted for about 5 minutes. Imagine several thousand flash bulbs all over the tower going off at different intervals, over and over and over. (btw, at night, the Eiffel tower is constantly bathed in orange light, and the blue spot light on top is always rotating. it's just the sparkly lights that come on for 5 minutes at 10pm)

After this, it's back to the hotel for the night. Other than an hour that we had at the hotel at 4pm to get ready for dinner, it was nothing but go go go all day long. We were EXHAUSTED, but at least we got a much better sleep in preparation for our next day.