Thursday, June 28, 2012

Eggs

Josh and I don't eat eggs. It's one of the few foods that neither of us like - along with mayonnaise, bananas, and sourdough. BUT, eggs are by FAR the worst. The other stuff, we can eat depending on the situation. Not eggs (unless they're in a cake or something where we're ASSURED we won't be able to taste them).

WHY do we dislike eggs so much?

- they are slimy
- salmonella
- there's that gross white stringy thing that looks like snot
- they are pre-meat
- they smell like farts when cooking
- they come out of chicken butts

Really, I can't believe there are people out there that would actually eat them.

HOWEVER, I know they're healthy (although the whole cholesterol thing is still confusing), a good source of protein, and an easy meal. Plus, they're in tons of delicious things, like breakfast tacos. Omelets? They seem like the perfect food! Full of cheese and veggies and meat (for those of you who eat meat).

I've been thinking about trying to make some eggs for us, in various ways, to try and get us to start eating them. We're trying to get healthier, and expand our food horizons. I'm an adventurous eater, and Josh is really getting there as well. SOOOO, I feel like we need to get over our eggaphobia (if that's not a real word, it certainly should be).

I bought a half dozen eggs the other day to make a cake. My thought was that I'd use the leftover eggs for us to eat. Or attempt to eat, anyway.

That is, until I inspected the eggs.

There are small smears of brown on the egg shells. You know what those smears are?

POOP! THERE IS STILL LEFTOVER CHICKEN POOP ON THE EGG SHELLS!!!!

Fuck you, eggs. You're not going to be on an Aycock plate anytime soon. Fuck. You.

4 comments:

  1. Too funny!!! It's a good thing normal people don't actually eat the shells! I think I saw plenty of farm animals peeing and pooping on the vegetation that ends up in the commizery...or better yet...our vegetable salads! hahaha

    It's mee Mallory...I had to post anonymous cause I don't have any of those other accounts! Just wanted you to know...it was meeeeeee!!!

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    1. Yes, but I don't SEE the poo on vegetables. :)

      MISS YOUUUUUU!

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  2. Poo on veggies no, but they are grown in it. Also, and this is gunna really gross you out, thInk about where you came from........do you hate babies now too? You came kicking and screaming into this world covered in poo and other bodily fluids. At least the egg had a coat. Food for thought, love ya cuz.

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  3. Man, we go through at least a dozen eggs a week in this house. We eat them every which way...this morning it was breakfast sandwiches complete with ham and cheese. I don't know...I eat cake batter with raw eggs in it and haven't gotten sick but they recall spinach at least once a year for poo infestation :(

    **they do smell like farts

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