Ramstein to Amsterdam - Part 1

The past weekend was our long-awaited trip to Amsterdam. I only wish we had been able to get to it in our younger, slightly less responsible years. :/ But, even so, this was by far the best trip that Josh and I have ever planned ourselves.

So let's begin.

You all know my love for Groupon & LivingSocial. I bought an Amsterdam trip for $370 bucks (from LivingSocial), and it was WELL worth it. It was for three nights at a DoubleTree, with breakfast each morning, 2 welcome drinks, 2 canal cruises, and 2 bicycle rentals. Even though we didn't use the bike rentals (I'm a wuss, and I was worried about the ankle), it was still WELL worth the money.

We left on a Friday morning. Unfortunately, we had to wait until Sasha's kennel opened (9am) til we could leave - normally we try to hit the road before then. But, it worked out. The trip took about 5 hours total - that was from door to door, with 3 stops (I have a bladder the size of a walnut).

Parking in Amsterdam is a nightmare - most people just ride bikes, and the city is criss-crossed with bus & tram lanes. Based on a couple of tips (Josh is friends with a travel agent from the area) we decided to park outside the city, at the Olympic Stadium, and just take the tram to the hotel. If we wanted to park at the hotel, it would have been €45. Some of the other garages nearby would have been around €30. WAAAAAYYYYYYYYY too expensive. Parking at the Olympic Stadium was only €8 per day! You park there, go give your parking ticket to the agent, and they give you two tram passes to use. You get a free ride to your destination (the Central Station in our case) and a free ride back to the stadium when you're done. I think you have a maximum of four days before you have to move your car.

It was really an easy system, but lemme tell ya....two people with backpacks, a huge roller suitcase, and a big recyclable shopping bag do NOT fit well on a Friday afternoon train. It was the most uncomfortable thirty minute ride of my life. But, finally, we made it to the Central Station. Our hotel was literally right next door. This was the PERFECT set-up for us. We were right on the edge of the city, and near enough landmarks that we couldn't get lost.


View Larger Map

The hotel was nice, and we also had free Wifi, and an Apple TV. Free Wifi is a really great amenity to have when you're in a new city - we used it several times during our stay, to find locations of museums, restaurants, etc.

We hung out for about an hour, just relaxing and settling in. Josh and I are really anal great about unpacking our suitcases & hanging everything up. OK, Josh more so than me (but y'all knew that).

First on our list for Amsterdam?

That's right, the Sex Museum. Y'all should all know by now that the Aycocks are no prudes. In fact, we are big huge perverts. This museum was totally right up our alley. We're also history buffs, so we LOVED all of the historical aspects of the place. The building was either 3 or 4 stories high, and filled with examples of sexual artifacts from the last 150 years. It didn't include REALLY old examples (like Kama Sutra stuff), but it was still very very interesting and informative. Plus, it was fun! They had many animatronic displays all around the building. For instance, we walked down one hallway, and heard a voice saying, "Hey! Hey, you!". We turn, and see an animatronic guy coming forward out of an "alleyway". He is wearing a trench coat, and when he gets close to us, he opens the trench coat and flashes us. It was hilarious! Another section was made up to look like the OLD Red Light District (1800s). The mannequins were wearing costumes from the era (absolutely beautiful lace outfits). There was also a closed door with a window. You peak your head in the window (which is covered with glass). An animatronic "gimp" comes forward, peen in hand, and shoots the window with water from his peen. HILARIOUS!! (The reason it's funny is because neither of us expected it, and we both jumped back as soon as we thought we were going to be hit with the "substance".)

I know it sounds really crass, but the museum was really very interesting, and well done. The amount of dirty porn from the 1800s was just amazing. Who knew they were into watersports back then? (Please don't look that up if you're one of my family members and you don't know what that is...seriously, don't do it).

They also had several old Nickelodeons with the old porno reels in them. If you're ever in Amsterdam, seriously come to this museum. It's not just about looking at "dirty" things. I promise it's educational! There was only one part that I had to gloss over. They had a section of the museum dedicated to the 70s, and in that section, they had a phone that you could pick up and listen to an actual phone sex recording. I'm not gonna lie, I listened to it for about 3 minutes before I got the heebie-jeebies. Not because of the phone sex operator (she's just doin' her thing!) but because of the "customer". ick.

Now, I couldn't post these photos on Facebook (stupid "indecency" rules), so here they are, in all their glory!

After this, it was off to the Hemp Museum. That's right - total night of debauchery for the Aycocks!

Alright, the weed museum kinda sucked. It was half-price, which wasn't bad, but it was half-price because it was being renovated. Basically it was just a couple small rooms, and was just so-so. They did have examples of artwork extolling the virtues of weed. They also had some OLD oil paintings of smokers. Apparently they have their own grow room, but that was under renovation as well. They also have a vaporizer that you can try, but we got there too late to even see the thing work (not that we would have tried it...).

After the museum, we walked thru the Red Light District (furthermore known as RLD...because I'm a lazy typist) to get back to the hotel. Just so you know, you are not allowed to take pictures of the RLD. We weren't going to test that.

I knew that there were gonna be hookers in windows. I was fully expecting to see it. But, still, my jaw dropped a little as I looked upon the rows of hookers dancing in the windows lit up with red lights. Each building had maybe three or four or five windows, and the ladies could talk to each other (they weren't closed-off cubicles or anything). It was still relatively early in the night, so there weren't THAT many people out. But there were still groups of drunk men gawking. It was very early in the evening (maybe 7??) and there were already some VERY drunk men around. That surprised me, actually. I was expecting everyone and their dog to be walking around high. Don't get me wrong, there was a LOT of smoking going on. But more drunks than smokers (which is what surprised me).

We weaved thru the streets, looking at all the sights. Josh decided we should stop by a bar on our way back to the hotel, so we started looking for one. We were walking down one street, and happened across a whole row full of bars. I knew exactly what was going on, so I just kept on walking. Josh was looking around for a bar, when he stopped and said, "Well....I really want to go in here, but I just don't understand why all these bars are full of just men..."

"Um, Josh? Did you happen to notice the rainbow flags above all of these bars?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!!! That makes much more sense now!"

Hahaha! It was so cute. Now, y'all know us - we have zero problem with any kinda sexuality. You do what you want, and as long as you're not hurting anyone else - have at it. But even so, Josh didn't really want to stop at a drag bar. So we went to one right outside the district.

Of course, after we sat down with a beer, and started playing pool, we realized something. I'm pretty sure we still ended up in a gay bar.

But, whatever, it was still a good time. :)

After a beer, and the worst possible game of pool I've ever played (seriously) we headed back to the hotel for our welcome drink.

The hotel has a pretty nice bar called SkyLounge - the big deal is that it overlooks the city. It was nice to see the skyline at night, but the bar was just meh. It was more of a fancy shmancy disco-y place - not really our style. But, whatevs, free drinks! (have I mentioned how much I love LivingSocial?)

So, we got two glasses of wine, and they also brought out a plate of snacks. Which was great, because we hadn't eaten anything in quite some time. They gave us a bowl of seasoned nuts, a bowl of these cheese straw/cracker/cookie things that were awesome (I love cheese), and a bowl of the most amazing, but most "duh" product I've ever eaten. It was a bowl of dried strawberries. Now, everyone has eaten dried fruit before. Raisins (vom), cranberries, apricots, etc. But, I don't think I've ever had dried strawberries before...at least not like this. They were almost like gummy candies. Amazing.

Unfortunately, it just whetted our appetites. It was around 9:30pm at this time, but we decided to go get an actual meal. Luckily, on our way back to the hotel, a (male) waiter at a nearby restaurant flirted with Josh and gave us a 10% off coupon to come back and eat. Unfortunately (for Josh - ha!) the waiter was gone by the time we got back there. But, we still decided to stay and eat. ;)

It was a Mexican restaurant. That's right, these two proud Texans went to a Mexican restaurant in Amsterdam. It's always interesting to go see other cultures versions of Mexican food. This is also when we realized how cat-friendly Amsterdam is. We're sitting at the table, waiting for our food, and a kitten comes out of the back. He sees Josh (who has his arm down) and immediately RUNS for Josh's arm, to play. It was the cutesthingeverohmygosh.

And now, the food. It really wasn't the worst thing ever (like I was expecting). They don't come out with free chips and salsa (I wasn't expecting them to). Josh got some chicken nachos, and I got a cheese and jalapeno quesadilla. Josh's nachos were pretty funny looking. Apparently there was a shredded chicken breast UNDER all the chips, and the chips were topped with salsa, guac (which was not horrible) and some weird sour cream sauce (it had what I believe was chopped jalapenos). My quesadilla was on a supposed tortilla. I say supposed, because it LOOKED like a tortilla...it ACTED like a tortilla...but, sister...that was no tortilla. However, the cheese/jalapeno concotion was pretty good.

Not a bad meal, all in all.

Afterwards, we went to a coffee shop right next door. They also had their own resident cat. Josh and I are typically the animal whisperers (Josh especially). Animals seem to flock to us. Sure enough, as soon as we sat down in the shop, the cat runs over to us, and plops himself on my lap for the entire time we're there. I love our cat, Rufus, but he's not a HUGE cuddler. It was nice to have a lap cat for a little while. She just sat there with us for maybe 30-45 minutes, watching the other customers come in and out.

At this point, it was getting pretty late, so we decided to head back to the hotel. Saturday was going to be a FULL day, so we had to try and get a good nights sleep (all 6 hours of it :/).

By the way, I think this will be a 3 part blog (unlike my usual 2 part blogs for weekend trips). We just did SO MUCH this weekend. Plus, no one wants to read a super long blog all in one sitting. Well...unless you're my mother. ;)

Stay tuned for part 2 tomorrow!