Eggs

Josh and I don't eat eggs. It's one of the few foods that neither of us like - along with mayonnaise, bananas, and sourdough. BUT, eggs are by FAR the worst. The other stuff, we can eat depending on the situation. Not eggs (unless they're in a cake or something where we're ASSURED we won't be able to taste them).

WHY do we dislike eggs so much?

- they are slimy
- salmonella
- there's that gross white stringy thing that looks like snot
- they are pre-meat
- they smell like farts when cooking
- they come out of chicken butts

Really, I can't believe there are people out there that would actually eat them.

HOWEVER, I know they're healthy (although the whole cholesterol thing is still confusing), a good source of protein, and an easy meal. Plus, they're in tons of delicious things, like breakfast tacos. Omelets? They seem like the perfect food! Full of cheese and veggies and meat (for those of you who eat meat).

I've been thinking about trying to make some eggs for us, in various ways, to try and get us to start eating them. We're trying to get healthier, and expand our food horizons. I'm an adventurous eater, and Josh is really getting there as well. SOOOO, I feel like we need to get over our eggaphobia (if that's not a real word, it certainly should be).

I bought a half dozen eggs the other day to make a cake. My thought was that I'd use the leftover eggs for us to eat. Or attempt to eat, anyway.

That is, until I inspected the eggs.

There are small smears of brown on the egg shells. You know what those smears are?

POOP! THERE IS STILL LEFTOVER CHICKEN POOP ON THE EGG SHELLS!!!!

Fuck you, eggs. You're not going to be on an Aycock plate anytime soon. Fuck. You.

Ewwwwwww

I was cleaning out Rufus' litter box today.

I swear, that cat's favorite pastime is pooping.

Anyway, if you have a cat, then you know that litter box cleaning is not the most fun thing ever, but a definite daily necessity. You'll also know that kitty litter tends to release powder into the air, and you can almost taste it as you're scooping.

Yeah, that's gross, but that's not what my post is about.

I'm doing the litter, and all of a sudden, I feel a hard piece of sand in my mouth.

OH MY GOD, I ACCIDENTALLY FLICKED A DIRTY PIECE OF KITTY LITTER INTO MY OPEN MOUTH (my mouth is open to prevent me from smelling Rufus poo)!!!!

THE HORROR!

I immediately spit on the floor. I could have been a little more lady-like, and run to the bathroom to spit in the sink.

But, I was too busy being horrified at the thought that I just had a Rufus kernel in my mouth.

It's then that I look at my big puddle of spit on the ground.

It's also then that I remembered I ate raspberry jam on toast for breakfast. It was just a raspberry seed that was dislodged from between my teeth.

I've never been so relieved in my life.