Eggs

Josh and I don't eat eggs. It's one of the few foods that neither of us like - along with mayonnaise, bananas, and sourdough. BUT, eggs are by FAR the worst. The other stuff, we can eat depending on the situation. Not eggs (unless they're in a cake or something where we're ASSURED we won't be able to taste them).

WHY do we dislike eggs so much?

- they are slimy
- salmonella
- there's that gross white stringy thing that looks like snot
- they are pre-meat
- they smell like farts when cooking
- they come out of chicken butts

Really, I can't believe there are people out there that would actually eat them.

HOWEVER, I know they're healthy (although the whole cholesterol thing is still confusing), a good source of protein, and an easy meal. Plus, they're in tons of delicious things, like breakfast tacos. Omelets? They seem like the perfect food! Full of cheese and veggies and meat (for those of you who eat meat).

I've been thinking about trying to make some eggs for us, in various ways, to try and get us to start eating them. We're trying to get healthier, and expand our food horizons. I'm an adventurous eater, and Josh is really getting there as well. SOOOO, I feel like we need to get over our eggaphobia (if that's not a real word, it certainly should be).

I bought a half dozen eggs the other day to make a cake. My thought was that I'd use the leftover eggs for us to eat. Or attempt to eat, anyway.

That is, until I inspected the eggs.

There are small smears of brown on the egg shells. You know what those smears are?

POOP! THERE IS STILL LEFTOVER CHICKEN POOP ON THE EGG SHELLS!!!!

Fuck you, eggs. You're not going to be on an Aycock plate anytime soon. Fuck. You.

Do you like Seafood?

That was my favorite joke when I was little. Ok, I still do that joke now. But only for my dad, because it gets him every time. I still get hit in the head when I do it, but the hilarity is worth it.

you know what this joke is...

Courtney: Do you like seafood?
Dad: Yeah....
Courtney: ::takes bite of food, chews, then opens mouth to show dad:: "Well how's this?"
Then I get smacked.

Get it? See food. Seafood. Ha!

Anyway, if you remember my gripy post from yesterday, I had to make a cake. Josh's office was having a seafood-themed going away party. (wut?) I don't know the first thing about making seafood. So, I did the next best thing and made an ocean cake.

Here's the cake that made me have serious stomach issues all night. (well...it wasn't the cake, so much as it was the leftover candy that I was forced to consume....like I'm gonna let jelly beans go to waste...)

I'm doubting if it was worth the inevitable ulcer of the lower intestines, and the 5lbs I will no doubt gain.

Also (and this has been bothering me all day)....the fish aren't bigger than the sharks. The fish are just in the foreground, and the sharks are in the background.

I have to tell myself that, or my OCD will take hold, and ruin my brain over this cake.