Monday, May 23, 2011

Greed is good.

Or at least filling.

So my baby brother turned the big 2-3 on May 12th. Hard to believe. It seems like just yesterday we're hanging out in our hippie school bus, without a care in the world, traveling across the US and Canada. Mom making baguette and cream cheese sandwiches on the folding table. Dad rockin' a mullet, and lamenting that he's not on a motorcycle at the moment, in the middle of whatever desert we happened to be in the middle of. Both us kids reading or playing, counting down the minutes til we got to stop at the next photo-op - four corners, some random waterfall, "world's biggest rocking chair", etc. etc (there was no need to take bathroom breaks, as the school bus rocked it's own "flush" toilet).

Those were the days. And yes, that photo was taken from inside the sweet-ass bus. I swear, if I had the means, I'd buy that sucker and do ALL my traveling with the hippie-mobile.

BUUUUT, as usual, I digress. We're talking about Chris' 23rd birthday in Germany. And to celebrate, there is no better place than Big Emma's.

Now, Big Emma's is a German restaurant, but I can't really decipher how authentic it is. I mean, the food is delicious, and it's all German food, but the restaurant is right outside the base, and totally caters to Americans.

Look at the size of these plates:

Tell me those aren't the biggest plates of food you've ever seen. Ok, that's a lie. You know how I know that's a lie? Those are the "1/2 size" plates. The salad is the "small" salad. That's right, we didn't even get the adult sized portions, apparently. Oh, and the beer? Those are 1L mugs, my friends. We COULD have gotten the 3L beers, but that probably would have involved some drunken shenanigans at some point that night and ended with all three of us in wheelchairs, not just yours truly.

But here is what I can't figure out. Are those portions huge, because the Germans that run the place are catering to American waistlines? Or do the Germans really like their food to come in trough-sized portions? Let's face it, when you think of Germans, you think Augustus Gloop, and roly-poly grandmas. Ok, that's what I think of, but my views on reality aren't THAT distorted by my weirdness, right??


Well, in any case, beer should come in nothing smaller than 1L portions. I may have only gotten 1/3 of the way through my "small" salad, but I DEFINITELY was able to finish my beer. With no regrets, my fellow German Brothers in Fat.

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